


Dispute

by gurajiorasu



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurajiorasu/pseuds/gurajiorasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Groceries. There’s a dispute about groceries. Don’t ask me how and why, but this has been going since I arrived.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dispute

When Jun entered the greenroom, it felt weird and unusual. It didn’t look weird and unusual, though-because everyone was doing their own things like they always did–but something was off and Jun could feel it on his skin. He eyed his each and every one of his band mates and he decided that it’s wiser to approach Sho in this condition. Equipped with a cup of hot coffee, he sat beside Sho.  
  
“There’s a dispute,” Sho explained without prompted. His eyes left his book for a while and they were directed to Nino, and then to Ohno.  
  
“Dispute about what?” Jun sipped his coffee and openly studying the two.  
  
“Groceries.”  
  
Jun raised his eyebrow. “Pardon?”  
  
“Groceries. There’s a dispute about groceries. Don’t ask me how and why, but this has been going since I arrived.”  
  
“The surprising thing is, for once, we got to hear an argument from Nino other than it’s being cheap,” Aiba joined in the conversation with an amused tone.  
  
A cushion was thrown to Aiba’s general direction by Nino. He looked upset and he spat, “I can hear you morons loud and clear. Don’t chat around like I’m not here.”  
  
Aiba laughed while Sho giggled and Jun tried not to. Nino threw a deathly glare at them and Jun took the chance to bring up the topic.  
  
“So. Groceries?”  
  
“We’re stocking up supplies and want to change brands,” Nino reluctantly answered.  
  
“And the problem is...?”  
  
“He prefers fanciness over functionality.”  
  
“Excuse me,” suddenly Ohno were up and gazing at Nino, “It’s more durable, it’s made from better materials, and it has all the functionality that we need.”  
  
“All the functionality that _you_ need,” Nino retorted, “And it’s not like my choice is not made from good materials. It’s better than what we’re using now!”  
  
“Why settle for better when we can have the best?”  
  
“Because we don’t always need the best.” Nino groaned and turned to look at the rest of Arashi, “Listen, guys, product A has better materials and durability meanwhile product B has more functionality, caters both my and his needs, and cheaper. Which one would you choose?”  
  
“You forget to add that my choice is more convenient, more comfortable, and less prone to breaking.”  
  
Nino cynically snorted. “We’re going to throw it away after one use, Oh chan.”  
  
“Doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t break it during that one use.”  
  
“Wait, wait,” Aiba stretched his arms to stop Ohno and Nino from having more heated conversation. “Calm down first, okay? It’s only groceries, it’s not the end of the world.”  
  
“It’s important!” Nino and Ohno synchronously snapped at Aiba.  
  
“Whoa, whoa, alright,” Sho pulled Aiba away from the upset couple, “Let’s settle this calmly.”  
  
Nino rolled his eyes but he leaned back to the couch. Ohno didn’t move but it’s clear that he’s not against what Sho proposed. After making sure that everything’s alright, Sho gestured Jun to take over the conversation.  
  
“So, it’s about something that gets thrown away after one use, right?” Jun proceeded carefully. His brain worked faster to find a solution that wouldn’t upset anyone involved.  
  
Nino nodded.  
  
“In that case, I personally prefer the cheaper one,” Jun said.  
  
Nino gave Ohno a told-you-so look and Ohno groaned.  
  
“ _But_ ,” Jun cut before any complaints were launched, “If it’s something that I use frequently, I might want to use the more comfortable one. It depends, really.”  
  
“We _do_ use it frequently. We use it in daily basis, for God’s sake!” Ohno said with a hint of frustration.  
  
“God, Oh chan! Can’t I, for once, have the good things?” Nino was exasperated. “I want to taste something other than rubber for a change!”  
  
“Well, I want to feel _you_!” Ohno didn’t miss a beat in replying.  
  
Aiba, Sho, and Jun exchanged glances. Foreheads were creased and eyebrows were raised. Before Nino could say anything else, Sho stopped them to ask, “Wait a minute, what exactly is this thing that we’re talking about?”  
  
Both Ohno and Nino looked at Sho with serious faces. Together, they answered, “Condom.”  
  
“I want the ultra-thin one. The one that transmits heat so I could feel him, but he won’t understand.”  
  
“I want the flavored one. I mean– They don’t differ that much in term of thinness! I just want to enjoy it more. Have you ever given a head with a condom on? It tastes like licking a tire!”  
  
“You will enjoy it more when you can actually feel me inside of you!”  
  
“Blow me for a change and you’d understand, Oh chan.”  
  
“I do blow you!”  
  
“Once in a blue moon!”  
  
“If you don’t always beg me to fuck you rough and hard, I might blow you more.”  
  
“So it’s my fault now?!”  
  
A cup of coffee was put down on the table, a book was closed, and a manga was left on the sofa. Without any words, Aiba, Sho, and Jun stood up and left the green room, leaving the arguing couple alone. On the corridor, they met a staff that looked concerned because of the yelling noises that could be heard vaguely from the outside. They dismissed him by smiling and telling him that everything was absolutely alright.  
  
“I can’t believe them,” Sho hissed–half upset, half amused.  
  
“To think that I seriously thought about their problem...” Jun massaged his temple.  
  
“Has it never occurred to them that they could just buy both and use it accordingly?” Aiba mused. “That’s what my girlfriend does.”  
  
Jun snorted a laugh, “Sometimes they think using their dicks.”  
  
“Yeah, right,” Sho laughed. “I don’t know, though. I prefer without so it has never been an issue for me.”  
  
“Me too,” Jun smirked, “Transmits heat perfectly and if you want some flavor, you could always use flavored lube.”  
  
Sho thought for a second and said, “I prefer chocolate or honey. Feels nice and adds up the sensation.”  
  
Jun creased his forehead, “But it’s sticky.”  
  
“But it’s natural!” Sho argued.  
  
“But it’s sticky, it’s messy, and it’s not intended for that purpose, Sho san.”  
  
“Jun, you don’t want to start this.”  
  
Jun stopped his steps and folded his arms in front of his chest. “Oh yeah? I’m telling you, Sakurai san, I’m so not going to stock up chocolate nor honey this month.”  
  
“Matsumoto Jun!” Sho stopped too and turned to challenge Jun directly.  
  
The only one who hadn’t stopped walking was Aiba and at that rate, he didn’t think that he would. When he was about to turn on a corner, he bumped into another staff who eyed Sho and Jun with worry painted all over his face.  
  
“What’s happening?” the staff asked Aiba carefully.  
  
Aiba didn’t slow down as he answered nonchalantly, “Dicks. They’re thinking using their dicks. That’s what’s happening.”  



End file.
